you sit down, shut up & read.
Here's the homework I did for my French class.
It basically says the weather is good today... there's sun... let's go to the river and make love... make babies and bla bla bla...
I woke up jumping off my bed this morning. I had to attend my French lesson. I was running a little late. Knowing that my French teacher doesn't tolerate tardy school children, I had only 2 minutes to get myself ready. I managed to brush a tooth while taking a dump(half a dump to be precise because I was in so much a hurry, I cut it into half, and the other half is still in me).
After that I took a fairly quick shower. Without drying myself properly, I rushed to the kitchen to grab a coffee and made a sandwich with slices of bacon, tomatoes, and cheese squashed together. Then I ran as fast as I could to the living room where my French teacher was waiting; arms folded and buried under her breasts with a sour face. I sat down quickly. Water was dripping down my hair and forehead. I couldn't tell whether those were my sweat or water from the shower. I apologized to her. Because the whole sandwich was in my mouth, she misheard my "SORRY" as "SALLOPE"(Bitch in French).
Needless to say, I got the same universal response from a female when being called a 'bitch', which is a kiss.
So as promised, this entire post is dedicated to you, Allan Koay; my most ardent blog reader who's devotion to my blog is almost adulterous. It's bizarre how my coarse writing serve as one of his sources of sexual excitement.
Allan, you have to know that adultery is just temporary love. Soon, we'll have to part. You'll have to return to your boyfriend and I'll return to my wife. My stay in Paris is coming to an end, which means this whole blog will become redundant. So this post will be one of the last few ones.
Oh, I love this temporary love.
The readers who read this also read:
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #001 - The cold
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #002 - Speaking French
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #003 - Cooking
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #004 - How To Kiss A Dutch Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #005 - My right hand
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #006 - Dead Fish Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #007 - Thessaloniki
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #008 - Jesus put me in so much shit
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #009 - My paintings
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #010 - Merry Fucking Christmas
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #011- Pink Bras
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #012- Temporary Love
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! aka I don't speak French is written by the filmmaker Liew Seng Tat during his stay in Paris. He is forced to write about his experience in Paris and update at least once a week. The characters and incidents described in JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! are always exaggerated, sometimes fictional and most of the time unpleasantly filthy. Please don't sue him.
Liew Seng Tat is a closet heterosexual.