you sit down, shut up & read.
I went to a boulangerie(bakery) yesterday and wanted to buy a loaf of French bread called 'baguette'. For those who don't know how a baguette looks like, just imagine a gigantic brown dildo with a hard and dry scurfy surface(It is so hard that it can break a baby's neck). If you don't know how a dildo looks like... here, see below.
Yes, this is a dildo. Most of the ladies use it wrongly. They put it on their lips. They should put it in their mouths.
My French teacher will be so disappointed at me because I spoke in French and got the numbers mixed up. Instead of saying ONE baguette, I said ELEVEN. I am so stupid.
I felt so stupid. With my '11 gigantic brown dildos', I went straight to the Louvre museum to look at some Renaissance paintings, hoping to increase my intelligence intellectually but what I found were mostly paintings of chubby naked ladies baring their breasts in all directions. I was so intellectually disappointed. Where have all the hot naked women gone?
I went home and attempted to draw hot naked women but somehow I ended up drawing hot naked men. It's not wrong to draw hot naked men but to spend days rendering so much details into the men's genitals is a little unhealthy. So I stopped concentrating on the genitals. To be able to do that, I had to apply some analytic cubism(with a little mixture of synthetic cubism) touch on my hot naked men drawings. Here are the results:
Still Life with Men Laughing, 2008, oil on canvas.
Two Musicians without Musical Instruments, 2008, oil on canvas.
The readers who read this also read:
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #001 - The cold
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #002 - Speaking French
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #003 - Cooking
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #004 - How To Kiss A Dutch Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #005 - My right hand
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #006 - Dead Fish Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #007 - Thessaloniki
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #008 - Jesus put me in so much shit
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #009 - My paintings
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #010 - Merry Fucking Christmas
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #011- Pink Bras
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #012- Temporary Love
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! aka I don't speak French is written by the filmmaker Liew Seng Tat during his stay in Paris. He is forced to write about his experience in Paris and update at least once a week. The characters and incidents described in JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! are always exaggerated, sometimes fictional and most of the time unpleasantly filthy. Please don't sue him.
Liew Seng Tat is a closet heterosexual.