Liew Seng Tat writes:

you sit down, shut up & read.

JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #009 - My paintings   by tat
JE NE PARLE PA FRANCAIS! 17/12/08 11:10:10 am


I went to a boulangerie(bakery) yesterday and wanted to buy a loaf of French bread called 'baguette'. For those who don't know how a baguette looks like, just imagine a gigantic brown dildo with a hard and dry scurfy surface(It is so hard that it can break a baby's neck). If you don't know how a dildo looks like... here, see below.

Yes, this is a dildo. Most of the ladies use it wrongly. They put it on their lips. They should put it in their mouths.

My French teacher will be so disappointed at me because I spoke in French and got the numbers mixed up. Instead of saying ONE baguette, I said ELEVEN. I am so stupid.

I felt so stupid. With my '11 gigantic brown dildos', I went straight to the Louvre museum to look at some Renaissance paintings, hoping to increase my intelligence intellectually but what I found were mostly paintings of chubby naked ladies baring their breasts in all directions. I was so intellectually disappointed. Where have all the hot naked women gone?

I went home and attempted to draw hot naked women but somehow I ended up drawing hot naked men. It's not wrong to draw hot naked men but to spend days rendering so much details into the men's genitals is a little unhealthy. So I stopped concentrating on the genitals. To be able to do that, I had to apply some analytic cubism(with a little mixture of synthetic cubism) touch on my hot naked men drawings. Here are the results:

Still Life with Men Laughing, 2008, oil on canvas.

Two Musicians without Musical Instruments, 2008, oil on canvas.

The readers who read this also read:
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #001 - The cold
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #002 - Speaking French
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #003 - Cooking
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #004 - How To Kiss A Dutch Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #005 - My right hand
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #006 - Dead Fish Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #007 - Thessaloniki
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #008 - Jesus put me in so much shit
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #009 - My paintings
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #010 - Merry Fucking Christmas
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #011- Pink Bras
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #012- Temporary Love

JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! aka I don't speak French is written by the filmmaker Liew Seng Tat during his stay in Paris. He is forced to write about his experience in Paris and update at least once a week. The characters and incidents described in JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! are always exaggerated, sometimes fictional and most of the time unpleasantly filthy. Please don't sue him.

Trackback address for this post:

Comments, Trackbacks:

I forgot to mention, those two paintings are not for sale yet because the oil is not dried yet. It takes years. I'm drying it with my hairdryer now to speed up the process.

tat [Member] 17/12/08 @ 11:47
i wanna put your drawings on my lips and in my mouth. they're so hot!

allankoay [Visitor] · 18/12/08 @ 10:12
careful they might burn your lips. I suggest you put them up your numb-seasoned-ass. At least it won't hurt.

tat [Member] 19/12/08 @ 05:23
am sick, but Ah Tat is a sicko.


allankoay [Visitor] · 19/12/08 @ 23:19
I love to come back on a regular basis,post more on the subject.

essay writing [Visitor] · 17/12/12 @ 23:31
This info is invaluable. When can I find out more?

Rachelle [Visitor] · 10/08/13 @ 08:28
Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a enjoyment account it.

Glance complex to more introduced agreeable
from you! By the way, how can we keep up a correspondence?
When someone writes an article he/she retains the image of a user in his/her mind that how a
user can understand it. So that's why this article
is amazing. Thanks!

sbobet [Visitor] · 12/05/14 @ 22:08
It's an amazing piece of writing for all the internet people; they
will take benefit from it I am sure.

old german names [Visitor] · 17/06/15 @ 21:52
Please let me know if you're looking for a article writer for your blog.

You have some really great posts and I think I would be a good asset.
If you ever want to take some of the load off, I'd absolutely love to write some material for your blog in exchange
for a link back to mine. Please send me an e-mail if interested.
Thank you!

a [Visitor] · 19/06/15 @ 10:59

Leave a comment:

Your email address will not be displayed on this site.
Your URL will be displayed.

Allowed XHTML tags: <p, ul, ol, li, dl, dt, dd, address, blockquote, ins, del, span, bdo, br, em, strong, dfn, code, samp, kdb, var, cite, abbr, acronym, q, sub, sup, tt, i, b, big, small>
(Line breaks become <br />)
(Set cookies for name, email and url)
This is a captcha-picture. It is used to prevent mass-access by robots.

Please enter the characters from the image above. (case insensitive)

Liew Seng Tat writes:

Liew Seng Tat writes with his left hand, eats with his mouth, sees with his eyes, walks with his legs and thinks with his dick.

Liew Seng Tat is a closet heterosexual.


XML Feeds

Who's Online?

  • Guest Users: 31