Liew Seng Tat writes:

JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #009 - My paintings by tat

JE NE PARLE PA FRANCAIS! 17/12/08 11:10:10 am

Bonjour,

I went to a boulangerie(bakery) yesterday and wanted to buy a loaf of French bread called 'baguette'. For those who don't know how a baguette looks like, just imagine a gigantic brown dildo with a hard and dry scurfy surface(It is so hard that it can break a baby's neck). If you don't know how a dildo looks like... here, see below.

Yes, this is a dildo. Most of the ladies use it wrongly. They put it on their lips. They should put it in their mouths.

My French teacher will be so disappointed at me because I spoke in French and got the numbers mixed up. Instead of saying ONE baguette, I said ELEVEN. I am so stupid.

I felt so stupid. With my '11 gigantic brown dildos', I went straight to the Louvre museum to look at some Renaissance paintings, hoping to increase my intelligence intellectually but what I found were mostly paintings of chubby naked ladies baring their breasts in all directions. I was so intellectually disappointed. Where have all the hot naked women gone?

I went home and attempted to draw hot naked women but somehow I ended up drawing hot naked men. It's not wrong to draw hot naked men but to spend days rendering so much details into the men's genitals is a little unhealthy. So I stopped concentrating on the genitals. To be able to do that, I had to apply some analytic cubism(with a little mixture of synthetic cubism) touch on my hot naked men drawings. Here are the results:

Still Life with Men Laughing, 2008, oil on canvas.

Two Musicians without Musical Instruments, 2008, oil on canvas.

DISCLAIMER!
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! aka I don't speak French is written by the filmmaker Liew Seng Tat during his stay in Paris. He is forced to write about his experience in Paris and update at least once a week. The characters and incidents described in JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! are always exaggerated, sometimes fictional and most of the time unpleasantly filthy. Please don't sue him.

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I forgot to mention, those two paintings are not for sale yet because the oil is not dried yet. It takes years. I'm drying it with my hairdryer now to speed up the process.

tat [Member] 17/12/08 @ 11:47

i wanna put your drawings on my lips and in my mouth. they're so hot!

allankoay [Visitor] · http://allankoay.webs.com 18/12/08 @ 10:12

careful they might burn your lips. I suggest you put them up your numb-seasoned-ass. At least it won't hurt.

tat [Member] 19/12/08 @ 05:23

u two are sick! hahahaa

naeboo [Visitor] · http://naeboo.liquidblade.com 19/12/08 @ 21:25

am sick, but Ah Tat is a sicko.

gagagagagagaggagagaga

allankoay [Visitor] · http://allankoay.webs.com 19/12/08 @ 23:19

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