Liew Seng Tat writes:

Bonjour!

The french phrase for today is:

Va te faire enculer: Go get fucked up the ass

When you are in a french restaurant and some cocky french waiters show you his attitude because you are a fucking asian better looking than them, say it to his face. You don't have to shout. The softer you say it, the better. So that when he couldn't hear you, he'll lean closer to you. Then you whisper in his ear. It's very effective. They understood what I was saying coz I got thrown out from the restaurant.

This is a gift from my friend Anchalee Saisoontorn in Bangkok.

Today, my french teacher came limping in our apartment. She has a broken toe from riding her bicycle. "It's so stupid(the accident)", she said. She always talks with big gestures. I wonder does having big breasts make you talk with big gestures?

So today I had my French lesson for the first time. I'm upset. I'm a fucking stupid Malaysian Chinese who can't pronounce the 'R' properly. RRRRRRR... rrrrr...God, it's killing me.

I was so angry with myself my face turned red(partly because I was drinking). I sticked my tongue out and slapped it with my shoe repeatly. "Bitch, this is what you'll get for being short and inflexible!", I said to my tongue.

If you hear strange and spooky noises coming out from my room late in the night, don't be afraid. It's just me learning and practising my French OR me torturing my tongue OR both at the same time.

Kitchen in the apartment where I hang out most of the time.

That's it for now. I will update next week.

A bientot!

The readers who read this also read:
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #001 - The cold
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #002 - Speaking French
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #003 - Cooking
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #004 - How To Kiss A Dutch Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #005 - My right hand
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #006 - Dead Fish Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #007 - Thessaloniki
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #008 - Jesus put me in so much shit
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #009 - My paintings
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #010 - Merry Fucking Christmas
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #011- Pink Bras
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #012- Temporary Love

DISCLAIMER!
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! aka I don't speak French is written by the filmmaker Liew Seng Tat during his stay in Paris. He is forced to write about his experience in Paris and update at least once a week. The characters and incidents described in JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! are always exaggerated, sometimes fictional and most of the time unpleasantly filthy. Please don't sue him.