Liew Seng Tat writes:

Bonjour!

I've arrived in Paris for a few days now and I'm freezing my balls out already(it doesn't help when you have more than 2 balls). A friend suggested that I should be wearing my pants when I'm out walking in the streets. I guess she's right.

This is where I do my writing. The black and white girl in the poster comes alive at night

There's not much sun in Paris and the rain makes everything worse. Unless you like getting wet in the cold, whoever visiting Paris should bring an umbrella or a raincoat or some coco yam leaves(if you're a fan of LAT cartoon).

LAT, my all time favourite Malaysian cartoon. Sometimes when I'm lonely I masturbate to it.

I was walking down Pigalle streets and a pitch black dude who wore his hat, jacket, pants, boxers, socks and shoes the hip-hop style asked me a question in a hip-hop way, "Yo man! Quelle un peu danse est celle?". I told him it's not a dance move you idiot. I walk funny when I'm freezingly cold. But he copied my walk anyway and called it the 'Robotic Vibration Pigalle Street 1.0 beta' dance move.

A street in Pigalle where I frequent twice a day except for Sundays, I go to church to praise the Lord.

The heater in my apartment doesn't work. At night, I tugged the table lamp under my shirt to keep me warm and slept under blankets as thick as my ex-girfriend's pancake face make-up. I woke up this morning trying to enjoy my hot coffee but my hand shivered too much the coffee spilled all over the dining table and kitchen floor. I was so pissed off I shouted at my hand, "NE JOUE PAS AVEC MOI!(Don't mess with me!).

A bientot!

The readers who read this also read:
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #001 - The cold
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #002 - Speaking French
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #003 - Cooking
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #004 - How To Kiss A Dutch Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #005 - My right hand
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #006 - Dead Fish Girl
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #007 - Thessaloniki
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #008 - Jesus put me in so much shit
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #009 - My paintings
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! post #010 - Merry Fucking Christmas

DISCLAIMER!
JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! aka I don't speak French is written by the filmmaker Liew Seng Tat during his stay in Paris. He is forced to write about his experience in Paris and update at least once a week. The characters and incidents described in JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS! are always exaggerated, sometimes fictional and most of the time unpleasantly filthy. Please don't sue him.